This Is Halloween
by William on 2008-11-02
You start with a humble pumpkin, carefully selected. Pick one you like, but try not to get too emotionally attached to it, because …
You cut a hole in the top and remove the insides. Use a big knife. If you canʼt bring yourself to commit this kind of carnage, it is okay to get a friend to do it. You can carve a face if you want, but donʼt make it too cute, because …
You dismantle the pumpkin. The easiest way is to cut it in half vertically. This is very easy if you didnʼt carve a face into it. Make sure the insides are nice and clean and void of all that stringy stuff and seeds because …
You bake the pumpkin for an hour or two, then scrape the flesh out and puree it. Then you bake pumpkin pies, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, and pumpkin muffins. Then you give them to your friends and family. Then everyone loves you.
Moral: Halloween can be fun even if no one knocks on your door asking for candy.